My Testimony of serving at Awana in 2018-19 ( By Yeefun Chung)
Serving as Commander at Awana is a new role and it’s a big challenge I faced this year. My first official experience serving as “Commander in training” during one club night in October felt like a huge disaster. I was totally thrown out of my comfort zone. Even though I was nervous, I was quite confident that I knew exactly what to do, as I had read through the role book and completed the role book test beforehand. However, one thing led to another, it became a bitter experience. After I went home late at night, “What a failure!” I said to myself, as I recalled that evening and blamed myself. I wished everything could be “undone” and erased by clicking one button.
Why did this happen to me? I asked myself and questioned my ability to serve. Voices accusing me and discouraging me frequently during the week. As I was pondering about it over and over in my head, God’s redeeming love comforted me and guided me through this difficult time. As I learned from the book of Ruth at bible study that week, God’s redeeming love found me where I was. God’s redeeming love was bigger than my discouragement and despair.
God’s redeeming love changed everything for me. I was strongly encouraged by God’s covenant kindness, steadfast love and unfailing love. I didn’t feel miserable anymore. God allowed this bitter experience for a purpose. God’s word revealed to me that I needed to hold tight to Jesus and do the next right thing. Jesus is my redeemer. Tears came down at my face. His redemptive love healed me and comforted me. I learned to let go and let God control. I praised God for such a difficult time as it brought me closer to God. God is my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in time of trouble. (Psalm 46:1)
Week after week, God drew me closer to Him as I served as Commander by offering frequent prayers and deeper trust in Him. Instead of relying on my own experience and talents, I would now depend on God and trust in God fully when Saturday comes. I still do not know what to expect at club nights. Clubbers who may need special attention and interventions, parents who are new to Awana and who may seek extra assistance and advice, volunteers who might not show up on time or at all etc. All the uncertainties actually challenged my confidence and desire to be in control greatly. I was like the Israelites who saw the Canaanites as big Giants and saw myself as little Grasshopper.
Over time, God has taught me to be more teachable, humble and responsive during club nights. Forget about being organized, structured and efficient but be meaningful, flexible and effective. I am regularly reminded by His words to turn my eyes on Him instead of looking at the unpredictable circumstances. God’s words reminded me that it’s God’s Kingdom which I am building, not my kingdom. I do not need to be in control. God is sovereign and God is always in control. God rules and intervenes with all the activities.
Looking backwards this past year, I see God’s amazing grace and countless blessings at Awana. One major milestone for me is transitioning from a fearful heart to a courageous heart. God shows up and shows off in my life. I am willing to move forward to do the next right thing. God is faithful, merciful and just. I praise God for all of His provision, help and encouragement every week. To Him be all the glory!
“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14)
